May 28, 2003

I was watching reruns on TV last night and decided that one of the best TV series to come from MTV was Daria. Bevis and Butthead were funny but really the best thing to come from that series was Daria. That whole show is based on sarcasm and making fun of the things in this world that need to be made fun of, simply because people are and act foolishly and they need to be made aware of it. I'm not saying that everything I do makes a whole lot of sense or that the way I do things is the end-all-be-all way that things should done. I'm mearly pointing out that MTV's Daria needs to come back and continue the unique and beloved social commentary that has defined it as one of my Top 10 all time favorite shows. Plus, the animation's not bad either.

May 22, 2003

I got to talking to my sister a while a go and we have decided that there are four degrees of Homelessness. As you may have assumed, we have drawn upon our combined experience as homeless people and have discovered that we have about a months worth of "being" homeless, so we figure that this qualifies us to establish the following:

THE FOUR DEGRESS OF HOMELESSNESS:

1st Degress Homelessness: This is what I was for a whole week. This degress of homeless people have "stuff" and a "place" to go, but still do not have a home or actual established place of residence. These people have material possessions (such as clothes, vehicle(s), books, etc), an established place to put said "stuff" and possibly have a bed to sleep in. But they DO NOT have the ability to call where they are staying "HOME" per se. It's just a temporary domicial. Also included in this, the person might possibly have a job or some type of income other than welfare or some other type of Goverment assisted program. You get the picture.

2nd Degree Homelessness: This type of person is a step down from the one listed above. Except for this person doesn't have the "place" to go. For example, my sister has "stuff" and people that she knows. But she didn't have a "place" to go or an established place to sleep. So she just stuffed all her "stuff" in her car and was couch-hopping. One night she would sleep at a friends house, the next night at another friends house, the next a family members house, etc. She was homeless w/ "stuff" but no place to stay. She just relyed on the mercy of her friends and family. There are others that follow this same pattern. They are the couch-crashers that we sometimes get to know and sometimes hate.

3rd Degree of Homelessness: This brand of homeless person is sort of a reversal of the 2nd Degree person. This person may have places to go and people to see. But they are without "stuff". Maybe a few things but nothing of real value to the outside world. The Apostles of OT times are a good example. "Traveling without purse or script"...but they had stuff to do and they relyed on the mercy of the people that they were among. There are people like this today. Those that hitchhike cross country are a sort of this. Nothing really of value to do they have, a few items, but no place to call their own. Then there are the traditional homeless people that were are familiar with, but with an advantage...they know how to work the system. I've met a few of these in Iowa. They go from shelter to shelter, they know when the different lunchtimes are, and they are "well established" in this system (i.e. they know who people are at the shelters). They are the "regulars" at these shelters.

4th Degree: This class of homeless people are the sterotypical, box-living, ragged-clothed individuals that we see in movies and on tv. These people have no "stuff" and no established place of residence, you know what I mean. These are the the "bums", the "bag-ladies", and "vagabond" that wander the streets looking in trash bins for their next meal and for stuff to wear. Some even have signs that say such things as "Will work for food". I have much sympathy for these individuals.

There is the "Johnson's list of the 4 degress of Homelessness". If you can think of anyone I left out, please let me know, a Revision might be in order. But this is what my sister and I came up with while driving. One of those things you talk about when on a long drive. Holla back.

May 17, 2003

Here are some more wacky stuff that has occured reciently.

Last night my sister and I went to go see the new Matrix movie. One of the guys that we lived with for a while, whom I consider a step-brother, invited us to go with him. He told us it was the midnight showing. Well, the geniuses that my sister and I are, thought that he meant that it ENDED at midnight and so we got there at 9:10pm. Well, 9:10 rolled around and no show. So we called his house and asked his wife where he was. Apparently there was an unlisted Midnight show that he got tickets for, so my sister and I had some time to kill. It was during this time that several events occured:

1) My sister use to work at Taco Bell and so she knows people there. Which means that we can get free stuff (i.e. food, drinks, toys, etc). We got free food and drink, which is always a plus. After which, my sister and I went to the most local ATM. We had time to waste so we walked, it was a ways off but not very far away. Well, there was a line of cars at the ATM, it was about 10pm, so we were kickin' it on a curb, waiting for the lot of them to leave. As we were chillin on a curb, I felt something on my jacket, kinda like a bird fluttering, right under my arm. I look down and the friggin night sprinklers came on. My jacket and pants got soaked. Grrrr. There was a car directly in front of us so they cause a glimps of the whole thing. I'm sure they were laughing at me all night after that.

2) After we got done at the ATM, my sis. and I started back to the mall theater. We were walking along the curb that outlines the parking lot. When I was a kid, we played a game were you walk along the curb and pretend that you above an alligator filled lake. If you fell off the curb, then the alligators got you. Well, my sister and I were doing the same thing. We walked along the curb pretending that we were trying to avoid the alligators. As were were walking a car drove by and the passenger, some wanttabe thug, yelled out the window, "Don't fall !!!" and "What are you guys doing, practicing for the Sobriety Test??!!!" Not only did this give my sister and I got chuckle, but to make out avoidance of the alligators more challenging, we did start practicing for the Sobriety test. My sister, while walking, started touching her nose with each index finger while walking the curb. My job was to avoid the alligators and recite the ABC's backward. If you ever find yourself with time to kill at the mall, I suggest walking on the curb and practicing the Sobriety test. It's always good to stay in practice.

Well, there you have it. Chillin with the sister again on a Friday night, in the parking lot of the local mall after hours, waiting for a midnight movie. There's not much to do here anyway, but if you try hard enough, you'll find something to do...and if not, something usually happens to you when you least expect it. Either way, it's all good.

May 14, 2003

In the Spirit of ESPN's Chris Berman 10 Plays of the Day or Dave Letterman's Top Ten list (whichever you are most familiar with) I would like to give you Jay's Top Five Most Outstanding Events Since Moving Home. Some of the stories are funny, some are weird, some are just cool:

5: My sister and I were cruising Downtown Alburqurque. We had just finished eating at the NYPD (New York Pizza Dept.) and were going to the mall. While sitting at a stop sign and jamming out to one of the local Hip-Hop stations, I happened to notice an old, grungy looking fellow talking to himself. I guess our radio was quite loud because he was dancing while we was walking past us. I turned off the music to see if I could hear what he was saying. When I did this, he almost immediately turned toward us and then started laughing. My sis. and I looked at each other and started laughing. My sister's only comment was," What a weirdo."

4: My sister and I went to the local singles ward on sunday. It was only good for a few laughs. We walked in during the first song and were waiting for the sacrament. While singing the sacrament song we just so happen to notice that the piano player was playing the song slower than normal. When my sister and I noticed this, we looked at each other and started to chuckle. Not only was the song slow but we were able to have a whole conversation during the last half of the last verse. I think that there were others who fell asleep during the song too. It was probably a good thing that we were laughing because at the pace the song was going, we would both have been passed out and the sacrament passers would have had to kick us to wake us up. Needless to say, I'm going to be going to the home ward from now on.

3: One night while I was in my room reading a book, winding down from a day of cleaning, my sister knocks on my door and says that there is a lady at the door. I got up and went to check it out. There was lady, I would say in her late 40's, who was standing at our door. She said that she needed a ride home. Apparently, she and her boyfriend got in a arguement and he was probably drinking. She got out of the car and starting running. She ended up at our house and was looking for a ride home. It was around or a little after 11PM. I had to give her props for making it to our door, because 1) we had all our outside lights off, so it was hard to see 2) we had 4 dogs running around our house who love to bark at everything (we only have one now) and 3) We live out in BFE and it's a little bit away from the road, so it takes a little bit of effort to get to our house. Needless to say, my sis. and I drove her home. That's only the second time that has happened to me. The first time was when my Bro. and I had to drive a drunk guy to the church that is down the road from our house when I was younger. But that's another story.

2: Along the same lines as the last story, there was a red Toyota, just like my truck, that was sitting on the road that leads to our house. There were two guys out there. My aunt, who lives right next to us, sent her daughter over to tell me to go check it out. I went and found two old guys there. The car was stuck in the sand that is along the side of the road. The driver was standing next to the car. When I drove up I asked what the problem was. He said that the car wouldn't start. He and the other guy wanted a ride to a town that was 7 miles away. I asked if his truck was broken and if i could fix it for him so that he could be on his way. He said his car wouldn't start. I got the key and, what do ya know, the car started the first try. He said that they wanted a ride anyway, they were stuck. So I went to my cousins house and he and I went back to pull his car out of the sand. We did but they still wanted a ride to the next town. But as we were pulling the car out, some other kids in a truck came by and agreed to take the two old guys to the next town. We left the truck at the next intersection and said that they could pick it up there when they got back. I figure that they were either drunk or taking some funky meds. Either way, they were weird and kinda creepy.

1: My sister and I were up at 11 PM on another evening finishing a day of cleaning the house. We were winding down to a game of DDR. We had just razor bladed the kitchen stove. By this I mean that we took the stove apart and cleaned all the grime and junk with razor blades. Well, after a few hours of that, we were done for the day. I'm not very good at DDR but my sister is a genius. We were both tired but I managed to pull myslef together long enough to pull off a 98 combo before the game was over. It was my first time getting a such a high score...ok, ok, It was on Basic mode but still I got the 98 Combo and that is what matters. I was proud of myself. I went to bed happy and seeing DDR arrows.

Well, there you have it. The top 5 most outstanding events that have happened since I've come home. The summer is still young so there is bound to be more wacky stuff that happens.

May 9, 2003

This past week has been crazy to say the least. Running here and there, still moving stuff around, cleaning house. It's been good though. This morning I interviewed with the San Juan Regional Medical Center for an Equipment Tech position. The lady said she was impressed and I hope to get a call sometime monday or tuesday. The thing that caught her eye with my application was that I put Missionary- 2 years church service on the form. Turns out that her son served in Iowa also. We talked about that for a bit. That's the first time that's happened to me, getting a favorable job interview based on missionary service (or something like that). Well, I have to go put in a new kitchen faucet and clean somemore. Hope to get some stuff done today.
This whole home improvement stuff is taxing on the energy reserves, I don't know how Tim Allen can handle it. Maybe I should have him come out for a few days and give me some pointers. We'll grunt and talk tools and fixtures all day. The typical male dream, i guess. I hope he likes pizza, cause that's what we are going to have. And then later on, while eating pizza, we'll watch Ninja Turtles. It will be great. My sister can play DDR with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. It will be great.

May 1, 2003

I've done it now...I've given into the pressures of the Blog. After a little bit of thought and a little bit of "Peer Pressure", I've decided to try out this whole Blogging trend. Since this is the first of hopefully many blogs, I think I will start off by saying this thing is so..it's kinda like..YO!!! Anywho, Holla back so I can see if this thing is working.