I can figure out the point of anything

So here's the story from the horse's mouth....

Wednesday there was a soccer game. The first game of the Intramural Coed Soccer tournament. Very important, obviously. Nothing else matters, life - death, it's all chump change compared to tourney games. So in the second half the score is 1 to 1. There is about 10 minutes left in the game. My defense is too far up the field and the other team attacks. The ball is passed to one of their forwards. He gets around my center D, kicks the ball up and it's a foot race between him and my center Fullback. The ball is rolling toward the corner flag. The forward is faster than my fullback. So I, playing Goalkeep, leave my box to get the ball. We slam into each other, I jump up and try to get back to my goal. He still has the ball. He is headed toward my goal. I get back in front of him. He switched directions and is going toward the outside. I change directions also but my planted foot decides not to. I look down in time to see my knee momentarily leave it's normal place of residence. I feel the most intense pain shoot through my leg. I fall down and am out for the count. 4000 minutes later, the D*mn ref decided to blow the whistle and stop play. I'm on the ground holding my knee. I take off my glove and shove it in my mouth to keep from saying all the bad things that were in my head at that moment. One of the girls on my team, who is an athletic trainer, runs over and figures out what is wrong. I'm taken off the field and the game continues. Spencer takes my place in goal and does a brillant job. Regulation time ends, the game is tied.
Over time....
No score....
The game goes to Penalty Kicks. Spencer blocks shot after shot while our we put 2 in the back of the net. We win 2-0 in PK's.
I am happy, we won. Like I said, Tourny games are of the utmost importance. Nothing else matters.

How the story ends:
I am helped off the field and go home. Ice my knee all night. Sleep...
The next day, I get to the ER to see what's wrong with my knee. After an X-ray, two doctors bending my left knee in every imaginable angle, and crutches and a knee brace, I'm sent home with the diagnosis: I might have torn my LCL and maybe a meniscus. I go in for an MRI tomorrow and might need surgery to repair the LCL.
So now I am out for playing soccer (which is REALLY the sad part of the story), I can't DDR unless it's on my PS2. I can't drive my car. And I have to call people in order to go anywhere (which really sucks).
On the plus side, I can catch up on my summer reading and movie watching. I have gotten the most sympathy in the past couple days I've ever gotten in my entire life, far surpassing the time I got pegged in the face with a soccer ball that was going 1,000,000 miles per hour and the time I got a death threat from possible gang members. (Stories that will have to wait for another time), but I've gotten free food, looks of sorrow, and people offering to do stuff for me, which is really awesome of them, Bless their hearts.
It is offically summer, injuries are in full swing in the 2nd Ward. A possible new segment may be added to ward prayer: the past week's ward injuries, or stories from the ER. What would an injury be without a cool telling of it in ward prayer?
Next up: the Memorial day activity.