I can figure out the point of anything

So the new year has started and I've compiled a good list of resolutions that I'm sure you-all can agree on. They are some toughies that, sometimes, takes people their entire lives to overcome. I am going to attempt to overcome ALL of these in ONE (1) year.

I hope I have the strength...

Here we go:
1) Quit Smoking
2) Quit Drinking
3) Cut down on porn traffiking...or at least donate some of the proceeds to an notable charity for that oh-so-lovely tax break
4) Find that Soundwave Transformers toy I left along side the road when I was a kid and visiting Washington state and we got a flat tire and I spent the time sitting on a rock playing with the previously mentioned Soundwave that I had gotten just that very day and somehow left it behind in the excitement tire-fixing and continuing on our journey from Washington to New Mexico.
5) Create the T-Virus
6) Shoot some zombies
7) Create the antidote for the T-Virus
8) Figure out what the hell is going on in Pirates of the Caribbean 3
9) Conquer the Colossal Burger from Acme Burger Company. The only burger I know of that, by itself, is $20.
10) Finish my bodybuilding friend's website.