A Very Johnson Christmas

I decided to go back to New Mexico for christmas this year. Needless to say, I don't like going back for any reason except to hang out with my brother and sister. I figure this should be good because great stories happen when I'm with my siblings. Here's the haps:

1) Christmas Day: My brother, sister, and I go to a gathering of family member on my dad's side, whom we haven't seen in a long time. It's time to get reaquainted. It was the classics extended version party, Aunts getting crazy weird and screaming louder than the kids, cousins and cousins-in-law making fun of everyone, a very 'Rez' game of Scattergories as only 'Injuns' can conjour up, and tons and tons of food. It was great. After spending time with them, we went over to another cousins house that live two houses away and play a few hours of video games. Also very cool...except when the game is Mario cart, then it gets vicious. And after these fun filled hours, we went to the Roger's (this is the family that my sister and I lived with for a year) and spent the remaining part of the day with them. So we hit 3 houses on Christmas Day....not too shabby.

2) My brother and sister had to work most of the time, and I had no real ties to anyone or anything down there, so what is a boy to do............. Watch movies, lots and lots of movies: (in the order watched)
a) the Missing
b) Resident Evil
c) Queen of the Damned
d) the Craft
e) Better Luck Tomorrow
f) Blade 2
g) Star Wars: Episode 2
h) Life is Beautiful
i) Amelie
j) Victory

and also a little bit of Jimmy Neutron and Pirates of the Caribbean.
Yeah, I'm productive with my time.

3) My sister and I decided to go shopping for stuff we wanted...and my sister knows people. Our first stop was Hot Topic. We got 40% off of anything we wanted and I got a free hoodie because they forgot to scan it. And I got my Hot Topic card filled out, so I have 15% off my next visit.
Next we went to Best Buy. My sister works there and she can get stuff at the cost the store gets them, no mark up what-so-ever. I made off with 3 new DVDs. Then onward to Baskin Robbins for 1 free scoop of ice cream each. My sister also worked here and knows the people there too. Cool, huh ? It was a free stuff week.

4) The only really sucky thing was that my friend/cousin got into an arguement that was totally dumb and we haven't spoken in a few days. It's all good though. Just one of those things.

5) I got Hulk Hands for christmas.

It was a good Christmas.

Taking test, especially finals, make me realize how greatful I am for:

1) Mechanical Pencils
2) Big erasers
3) Dr. Pepper
4) my TI-89
5) book buybacks
6) food (a stress reliever)
7) DDR (another stress reliever)

If it weren't for finals, well....I would still love all of these things, I just would be without the headache.

I got stopped in the Bookstore today while walking through the detectors. It has never happened before. I would walk through, the alarm would go off and they would just wave me through. But today, it was different. I had to show and scan my bag, my textbooks, and my CD player. When all was said and done, I was allowed to WALK through the computer part of the store. Never before in my career as a BYU undergrad have I ever seen anyone told to empty their bag when they go throught the bookstore. What was so different about this time?!? I wasn't embarassed or anything, but just a little perturbed because that is not how I wanted to spend 2 minutes of my existance. I think BYU is getting paranoid. Maybe I should give them a reason to check everyone's bags.

Let's join the conversation already in progress.....

"Yay,..." - Master Steve
"J.Po" - JayPo

Yah, we got the son of a b says:
watching fellowship of the ring
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
"there is one who could reunite them"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
"one who could reclaim the throne of gondor"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
"steven humpherys"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
elrond: "he's too expensive"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
elrond: "we can't afford him"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
gandalf: "but we must have him"
J.Po says:
i'm too expensive, an expensive assassin
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
elrond: "we'll get Jay, he's cheap"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
gandalf: "we want to beat sauron, right?"
J.Po says:
elrond:" that's why we need jay. He always gets the job done."
J.Po says:
elrond: "I hear he is the best."
J.Po says:
gandalf:"It's true."
J.Po says:
elrond: "We don't need Frodo anymore, now that we have Jay."
J.Po says:
gandalf: "We can all rest, now that Jay is on the case."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
gandalf: "well frodo's a pansy anyway"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
gandalf: "but we must have steve"
J.Po says:
elrond: "Steve is a pansy too. He'll only hold up the journey."
J.Po says:
gandalf:"Then we should kill him."
J.Po says:
elrond: "Yes."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
elrond: "we can't. he's too powerful. he makes sauron look like a kitty cat"
J.Po says:
pippen: "I want to push this little button on this nuclear type....thing....just to see what it does."
J.Po says:
Sam: "I'm hungery."
J.Po says:
Frodo: "Sam. You just ate an hour ago."
J.Po says:
Sam:" I know, mr. frodo. But I'm hungery again."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
Sam: "shut up frodo. or i'll stop cooking for you. you can eat with gollum."
J.Po says:
Gollum: "Smeeeegol. Why do you cry Smeagol?"
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "The nasty hobbits are going to eat me."
J.Po says:
Gollum: "They hates you."
J.Po says:
Smeagol:"they are my friendsss."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
steve: "everybody hates jay"
J.Po says:
Gollum: "They are not your friendsss. Steve is your only friend."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "STEVE!!! STEVE IS A F***IN F***."
J.Po says:
Gollum:" But he likes you."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "I HATES STEVE..."
J.Po says:
Gollum: "Steve hatesss you."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "nasty steve."
J.Po says:
Gollum: "Maybe 'she' will kill steve."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
steve hates spiders
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
he will kill her
J.Po says:
Gollum:"She is tricksey."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "I need some Mountain Dew: code Red."
J.Po says:
Gollum: "Let's steal some."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
gandalf: "i need some wassail"
J.Po says:
elrond: "I need some lovin."
J.Po says:
elrond: "I haven't got any lovin since I was 1000 years old."
J.Po says:
elrond: "When you bought me that wench from Brandybuck."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
arwen: "don't talk about mom that way"
J.Po says:
elrond: "It's true....."
J.Po says:
elrond: "you can just accept the truth."
J.Po says:
elrond: "I..am..your father."
J.Po says:
Leia: "Does that make Arwen and I sisters ?!?"
J.Po says:
elrond: "NO !!! but I can be your sugardaddy."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
neo: "not after i kill you"
J.Po says:
elrond: "MR. ANDERSON !!!"
J.Po says:
Gollum: "I hatessss the matrix."
J.Po says:
Sabe': "I love Steve."
J.Po says:
Trinity: "Sabe', I'm going to kick your @$$."
J.Po says:
Padme': "Not if I have anything to say about it."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "cool, catfight"
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
this is getting to be a cool movie
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "I haven't seen on of these in ages."
J.Po says:
Arwen: "I'm going to mess u up, Leia, you stole my last Diet Coke."
J.Po says:
Leia: "Bring it BiT*H!!"
J.Po says:
Legolas: "Captain Jack Sparrow !!! Go get some chips and get back here quick!!"
J.Po says:
Capt. Jack Sparrow: "Savy !!!"
J.Po says:
Frodo: "To the winner gets the One Ring."
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "Let's get it on !!"
J.Po says:
Neo: "Trinity, if you need me just think of my name. "
J.Po says:
Trinity: "I don't need your help. I can take all of them."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "Talkie talkie talkie....no more talkie."
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "This had better be a good, clean fight. No scratching the eyes, bullettime kicks, or biting any pointed ears."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
Mike tyson: "no fair"
J.Po says:
Sam: "I'm hungry, Where's Captain Jack with those 'taters."
J.Po says:
Captain Jack: "I'm here but there's no rum..... Sabe' burned it all."
J.Po says:
Sabe':"Rum is a vile drink."
Yah, we got the son of a b says:
Pippen: "damn Sabe, I want a pint"
J.Po says:
Luke Skywalker: "Beat her good, sis, She burned all the rum."
J.Po says:
Leia: "It will be my pleasure."
J.Po says:
Legolas: "I just need Lamdas bread salsa and I'm good."
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "Taters?!? what be taters, precioussss?!?"
J.Po says:
Sam: "Po-tay-toes!!"
J.Po says:
Neo: "Where did you pick up this guy?!?"
J.Po says:
Frodo: "He's our guide!!"
J.Po says:
Neo: "Not much too look at is he ?!?"
J.Po says:
Sam: "Not really, but he has an excellent singing voice."
J.Po says:
Trinity: "STOP PULLING MY HAIR, ARWEN!!"
J.Po says:
Arwen: "YOU STARTED IT!!!"
J.Po says:
Trinity: "NO I DIDN'T !!! PADME' DID !!!"
J.Po says:
Padme': "YOU SUCK!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
J.Po says:
R2: "beep bop beep"
J.Po says:
C3PO: "Artoo says first round is over."
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "Shut that infernal thing off, or I'm going to crush that piece of metal with my muntant abilities."
J.Po says:
C3-PO: "...but sir..."
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "That does it. "
J.Po says:
C3-PO: "AAAAARRRRRR!!!!!"
J.Po says:
Luke: "What are you doing to my droid."
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "I'm turning him into a coffee mug."
J.Po says:
Legolas: "Captain Jack, You need a new mug."
J.Po says:
Captain Jack: "Savy!!"
J.Po says:
Frodo: "I want a mug too."
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "there's another droid. I can do it."
J.Po says:
Sabe': "OW !!!!!"
J.Po says:
Leia: "Hang on Sabe'. GET OFF HER TRINITY !!"
J.Po says:
Trinity: "Skank!!"
J.Po says:
Arwen: "whore!!"
J.Po says:
Aragorn: "Did I miss anything ?!? Sorry I'm late, I couldn't park my submarine anywhere."
J.Po says:
Sam: "they just started...did you bring the 'tater chips?!?"
J.Po says:
Smeagol: "Again with the tater's. Enough with the Taters!!"
J.Po says:
Gandalf: (calling on his cell phone) "Charles !! You're missing it, old friend !!!"
J.Po says:
Neo: "Call the oracale. She makes great cookies."
J.Po says:
Legolas: "Where'd Gimli go?!?"
J.Po says:
Aragorn: "I saw him on the street, drunk of his @$$ again..."
J.Po says:
Legolas: "I was going to tell him that I'm up to 17 shots now..."
J.Po says:
Charles: "Are they still fighting ?!?"
J.Po says:
Gandalf: "They are getting tired."
J.Po says:
Charles: "ALMOST TIRED ?!? ENGAGE !!!!!"
J.Po says:
Frodo: "I'm tired. I"m going back to the Prancing Pony."
J.Po says:
Sam: "I"m going to come with you."
J.Po says:
Aragorn: "I'm glad they are gone. They were eating all the chips. "
J.Po says:
Gollum: "Stupid Fat Hobbitsesss."

Yah, we got the son of a b says:
cool J.Po
J.Po says:
lol
J.Po says:
i rather enjoyed it

It is in production and will be released in 2005. Look for it at your local theatre.

Some thoughts that should be thought about but really have no weight in reality and are not going to change the world:

1) I think people spend too much time watching the stock market and stewing over how much money they have lost. Have they really 'lost money' ?!? My answer to that is 'NO', because it's all on paper. There was really no loss of anything that was physical. What they 'lost' today may be regained tomorrow, depending on how many shoes were sold in Indonesia and how good their broker is feeling. The stock market is a good idea, but it leads to some bad ends. There were people that I've tracted into that would rather sit around their house all day and watch the little bar on the bottom of their screen scroll by then go out and enjoy the day or read a book. What was really lost was time. I admit that I watch the stock market and I have reason to but not on the scale that most people do. I go about my day, go to school, play DDR, read a book, and then occasionally I'll check to see where I ended at the end of the day. Granted, on paper I gained pennies, but that's not worth me sitting around all day watching CNN or CNBC waiting for the final bell to ring or even watch the after bell trading. I was semi-excited when the Dow rose over 50 points in a day 2 summers ago, but the next day, people started selling and it went back down. I think people should be aware where the economy is going, but not to the extent that it's an obsessive thing. I fear stock people because they are too paranoid/ too impulsive. My boss for the satellite company I worked for was a stock guy and how he felt for the rest of the day was dependant on where the market was. I try to avoid them now. But really, people spend too much time and expend too much effort watching the stock market.

2) Orange soda is one of the greatest inventions in the world. I reciently purchased a case of orange soda and I wanted to drink all of it that same day. But I had to ration it because I wanted to prolong the experience. Whoever came up with the idea for orange soda, I salute you. Shaa-wing!!!!

3) Finals week has got to be the single most depressing/ stressful/ exciting/ bowel moving/ drug taking week of the entire year....well that and tax time. But, seriously, college aged and, sometimes high school aged, people around the nation go through the same feelings of anxiety and self-doubt at the same time. Chemical use increases whether it be caffeine, Prozac, or Buspar. I don't know where I'm going with this one, but I felt like stating a truth....and no I'm not on drugs.

4) I need a Mickey in my corner. The kind of Mickey that know the in's and out's of everything. When it's time to take the big test or to ask a girl out, Mickey is right there to pump me up and give me words of encouragement. Then he kicks me to the middle of the ring and yell profanities at me trying to keep me motivated. That would be great. I'm in the testing center and Mickey is outside in the lobby and his angery, old guy voice resounds throughout the building telling me to keep going. Or when I'm playing DDR, Mickey is there to keep up the intensity. Then when the time to perform is done, Mickey is there to hand me a towel, give me some water and tell me to hit the showers. He needs to look like Burgess Meredith too. I don't think I could be motivated from by someone who looked like Paulie (Burt Young). He didn't do a good job when Rocky fought Mr.T the first time. Only Mickey would do.

5) Cell phones are good when used properly and in the appropriate time. But people base too much of their effort in cell phones. As I write this, there is a girl with her cell phone yakking away in what should be a quiet area. Breaking silence in a place that should be quiet is not kosher and should be punished. People driving and talking on their cell phones is also against the rules. People aren't driving, they are talking. Their concentration is somewhere other than driving. People around here can't drive good enough anyway, we don't need cell phones to 'bring down the average'. I liken cell phone drivers to that kid in class who shows up and screws around during class, doesn't learn a d**n thing, takes the final and drags down the average and the curve. I like playing with cell phones and I like a lot of people who have cell phones. I just don't think people know how to use them correctly. Maybe I should write the book on cell phone usage: when, where, why, and how (especially how the silent mode is enabled).

6) Spiderman is real.

bIrThDaY fUn
(A poorly written sitcom that will never make it to the big screen)

(time morning: scene my bedroom)
6am - [camera: close up] sleeping
7am - [camera: corner shot] still sleeping
8am - [camera: top view] more sleeping
8:55 am-[camera: close up] *wake* *blink blink blink* -check the clock- ......'OH CRAP!!! I'm suppose to play racketball @ 9' (Throw on some clothes, make the morning fro' somewhat decent for BYU)
(Exit scene)

(scene: BYU Racketball courts)
9 - 11 am- (two BYU college students trying their best to play racketball. Arms flail to hit a tiny blue ball that travels faster than the speed of sound) (talking) (laughing)
[camera: door shot - pan out]
(exit)

(time: noon)
12 - 4 pm- [camera: shot of couch] (enter Jay and Jimmy)
jimmy: Is there a game on ?
Jay: I don't know.
jimmy: Only one way to find out. (turn on computer that is used as a TV)
jay: i'm glad its vacation.
[camera: pan out from living room]
(exit)

(time: evening)
4pm-[camera: view of livingroom] (jimmy and jay are still watching TV) (enter SteveBob)
steve: Jay !! I"m going to kill you!! but not today cause it's your birthday.
Jay: oh, ok. Cool !
(exit Jay and Steve)

[onLocation: Media Play]
4:15pm- [camera: Parking lot]
Jay: I need a new CD. All mine are kinda old.
Steve: ok.
(enter MediaPlay)[camera: backshot as characters walk through doors] (playMusic: 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy')
(Extras: Dancing through the aisles) (Steve dances Riverdance, Jay dances Hip hop)
(Jay: purchases Brand New CD)
(exit)

[onLocation: Circuit City]
4:45pm-[camera: Parking Lot]
Steve: I need a TV.
Jay: ok. Let's steal one.
Steve: ok. We need to look for a good one.
Jay: Let's see what they have here.
Steve: I like Santa.
Jay: Yes Steve, I know you do, try not to break anything while we are here.
Steve: Can I sit on santa's lap when it's my turn ???
Jay: umm...santa's not in here.
Steve: (cries)
Jay: don't cry. There are a lot of Santa's in San Francisco. It's like Santa-land, and you live there.
Steve: yay !!!!!!!
(enter Circuit City)
(exit scene)

(onLocation: the Old Spagetti Factory lobby)
6pm- (enter Steve and Jay: backlit with white light. Pause in door way for dramatic effect) (Jay walks to desk)
Jay: I have a some people coming. It's my birthday.
Cute Girl: Awesome!!! I love birthdays !! Will you marry me ?!?
Jay: um...that's ok, but thanks anyway. I just need a table.
Cute Girl: oh, umm...ok. Just tell me when everyone gets here....but you can marry me whenever you want to. The offer is on the table.
Jay: Cool.
(Jay walks to seat)
Steve: That girl was cute. Did she ask you to marry her?!?
Jay: yeah, but I couldn't. I have to get a DDR machine first.
Steve: Yes, that's important to have before you get married. Cause if you don't get one before you are married, then you will probably never get one.
Jay: it's true.
Steve: I hope it we don't have to wait here long, I'm pretty hungery....and you know what happens when Steve the Magnificent gets hungery.
Jay: uh huh.
Steve: People DIE !!!!!!
Jay: i hate when that happens.

(enter Em and Ann-Marie)
Em: Hi
Ann-Marie: Yo !!
Jay and Steve: WHAAAZZZUUUPPPP ?!?!?!
Jay: we are still waiting for Hotter to show up.
Em: cool.
Steve: I like Santa !!!
Em: Yes you do!! He's good and good for you.
Steve: I like it when I sit on his lap and he tells me I've been a good boy.
(Jay and Em look at each other, each raises one eyebrow)
(enter Hotter and crew)
Hotter: Hi guys !!
Steve: Yay !!! now we can eat. I'm hungery.
Jay: (backhands Steve) STEVE !! where are your manners?!? you are suppose to say 'Hi' first.
Steve: oh, sorry, I keep forgetting......Hi ! I"m hungery. Now can we eat ?!?
Jay: Yes steve. now we can eat.
[camera: fade out]

[camera: fade in: Table shot]
Hotter: I brought Chrissy and my nieces.
Chrissy: Hi!
Jay: Hi. It's been a while since I last saw you. How are you doing?
Chrissy: i'm good.
Cloie: Can I have butter ?!?
Hotter: yes you can. just wait a bit.
Jay: well, let's order some food before Steve kills someone.
Steve: I want food.
Hotter: Calm down steve. You will get it.
Steve: Yay !!!
(enter waitress)
[camera: pan out]
[camera: outside restaurant, Shot of window- inside the waitress takes the orders, people laughing, snow falls--pan out]
[camera: arial view of restaurant- fade to arial view of mall- pan out to view of provo]
[fade to black]
[roll credits]

Who's going to carve the Turkey ?!?

Thanksgiving spanned two families, 24 hours, a wrestling match, and a vicious game of spoons. My roommate and I were invited to Thanksgiving Point for lunch. (Family number one). It was slightly cheesy to have Thanksgiving at Thanksgiving Point, but it was also a really good idea. A quality buffet lunch at the Clubhouse, nice setting, fun family members, and my roommates over-developed ability to make bird noises secretly all added up to a great time. Plus, I really liked the 'Happy Juice' that was served, I don't know what it was but it was pink, it tasted good, and there was an endless supply. We even had the option of riding in a golf cart from the car to the front door. Talk about service to the extreme. It would have been a short ride, but a ride non-the-less.

From here, departure was had to another location. This time to East SLC.
Upon arrival, preparations were made to play foozball in the snow at a local school. Apparently, people play football on Thanksgiving....yeah, go figure. To those who stayed behind were allowed to watch football. There was no escape. Personally, I would have rather watched Ninja Turtles take on Vampires, but since this was not available, I was left to viewing Homosapiens battle it out on the pitch (soccer term for field).

When the time arrived to partake of the Thanksgiving feast, there arose a problem which, it seemed there was no answer.... "Who's going to carve the Turkey?!?" The head of the house was at work and so, it was left to the remaining personages to decide who would take upon themselves to carve such a holiday fowl. After a few moments, it was appointed to yours truly to endevour on such a task. My first carving turkey experience was when I was around the tender age of 15. Since then, I have carved a total of 3 turkeys (including this one). Tragedy was averted and dinner was spectacular.

In a post-turkey feeding, everyone scattered to enjoy the remainder of the day, singing, verbally interacting, or just sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling and juggling a single rubix cube.

Upon arrival of the aforementioned head of the house, secret combinations were created and plans were made to tackle said head of the house. When least expected, almost all males in the house engaged in said activity. It was quite like melee on Cartoon Network, where everyone jumps in and a while cloud apprears. The only things that are visible are fists and feet, with an occasional head that pokes out, looks around and then dives back in. When the smoke clears all that remains are limp bodies and tattered clothing. Quite entertaining.

To cap off the evening and to compliment the wrestling match, a game of Spoons was suggested. I don't think I've ever seen such a display of competitiveness. Little people taking on big people. Old challenging the young. Loyalties flew out the window as spoons were fought over. It was like unto church ball, everyone laughs as casualties increase.

Moral of the Story: Mormons are weird, especially so around holidays.

If all this could happen on a day such as Thanksgiving, I wonder what Christmas is like for Mormon families. Christmas is like holiday-zilla.......

the birthday loot:

1) an Arizona cactus
2) TMNT Series 2, Vol.2 DVD
3) Hulk Playing cards
4) Bag of Sour Skittles
5) Nail Print stickers
6) Brand New 'Deja Entendu' CD
7) X-Men 2 DVD
8) Lots-o-birthday shout outs

This has probably been the most celebrated B-day in a long time. Thanks y'all.

PS. I also got punched in the arm twice and I got tackled.

I hope to all those who are traveling over the Holidays, you will have a safe travel and a happy Thanksgiving.

Here is some Thanksgiving History for your personal enlightenment.
Have a fun Vacation.

Last night I went to the Brand New concert w/ Eisley, and Hot Rod Circuit. Here's how it went:

Standing in Line
My sister and I got there an hour earily so we were relatively close to the door. As I looked around I noticed a huge gathering of high schoolers all around me, chatting about everything from chemistry class to how cool their bullet bike is to how they hate their neighbors. It seemed like every single one of them had a cell phone and were always talking on them. Two of the kids were smoking behind me (I hate smokers), and one kid kept talking about nothing. I rolled my eyes to my sister a few times because of it.
After 1.5 hours of standing in line, they finally decided to let us in, which is 30 minutes past when we were suppose to go in.

Waiting for the Start
As people started to fill the club, things got a little tight. Then.....she came in... and stood behind me. Now your probably think I mean the most beautiful girl in the world that I would marry and live happily ever after with, but not so. This one was on the opposite end of the spectrum. While still a cute girl, but that was the thing, she was a little girl, an annoying, screaming, untamed, and immature high school girl....and she had friends. The whole lot of them were standing right behind me. She screamed right in my ear, rubbed up against me more than a few times, screamed many times about how she loved Hot Rod Circuit, and used the F-bomb on a few occasions. At this point, I feel the need to mention one of my sister's concert rules : 'When we get inside, it's every man for himself'. This turned out to be a good thing because after the first band my sister was nowhere to be found, which allowed me the opportunity to leave the rabble and find 'safer' ground.

the Crowd
As the concert progressed, the floor got more and more crowded and I ended up behind two big guys. When I say 'big' I really mean 'fat'. Big boys in warm places is one of the last things in the world you want to be around. It doesn't matter if you are working with them or at a concert, the results are the same. You just don't want to be around them.
By the time Brand New took the stage, I had had enough of being behind the big kids, so I left the floor and enjoyed the rest of the concert from the back. I'm ok with handling the crowded floor, the pushing, the unified jumping of the crowd when the song is ultra cool (yes I used the word 'Ultra') but I just can't handle being behind the big kids is such a setting. Brand New rock'd, and my sister went away with a pick, some vinyl, and her ticket signed by the members of Hot Rod Circuit. I got my butt touched a couple times, girls rubbing up against me, and a sweat soaked shirt, but it was an otherwise great show. Two encore songs and the crowd was content.

the Bands
The event opened with the band Eisley (like Mos Eisley). This was, for the most part, a chick band. A mix of Sixpence and Cardigans. A couple of their songs were catchy and I will probably download them but I wasn't too impressed over all, but then again, I'm comparing them to Incubus, Nightwish, and Metallica. Quite a different standard.
Hot Rod Circuit was more my speed but still not too impressed. A little too much grunge punk, not enough metal, even a little emo would have been a good thing. I think I liked Eisley more. A good addition to their set was Jessie (lead singer for Brand New) making an appearance.
Brand New then took the final set and everyone in the building was well pleased. I think I'm going to go out and pick up 'Deja Entendu' soon.

the End
That was my night last night, good music...good times... and I got out of Provoland for a bit.

I think there comes a time in everyone's life when one has to re-inventory what one has and toss out the old and bring in the new. When the old stuff just doesn't cut it anymore, one must look for the new to replace that which was gotten rid of. This is a time=consuming effort but well worth the end result. One ends up happier and healthier because one has found that one has grown and expanded one's horizon. What am i talking about, you might ask ??? Well, I'm referring to the time when one gets tired of one's own CDs and has to explore other areas of intrest. One doesn't necessarily have to discard everything, or even switch styles altogether, but one must explore the various artists out there that are able to speak to one's soul and communicate the feelings that one just cannot express. That's the beauty of music. It's ever-searching and ever-expanding. Trying to bind together those who feel the same in a certain way and express these thoughts and feelings through a common medium. Not everyone feels the same way all the time and at the same time, so when new attitudes and behaviors arise, then I think it appropriate that the music change with it. In this process, one can look back at one's stack of media and view where one was, where one is now, and quite possibly, where one is going from there. It's ok to like what nobody else likes or even not like what everyone else likes. This shows that one is not afraid to be one's self and not give in to the trend of the day. Should one happen to fancy the same thing that everyone else does,well then, that is ok too. That just shows that we are not all so different and can connect at least on some level. So to those who can appreciate the different and unheard of, I give props. Be young, have fun, drink Pepsi.

I scored a (32.34714% - Total Geek).
Test your Geekiness.


By the way, my Hobbit name is Fosco Brandybuck of Buckland.

Things I've found that damage your nail paint:

1) going to the Weightroom.
2) chewing on your nails.
3) showers
4) washing dishes
5) doing homework, especially using a mechanical pencil
6) working on cars
7) eating with hardware (ie spoons, knives, chopsticks)
8) grabbing stuff from your backpack
9) playing soccer
10) forgetting that you have nail paint

Are boys suppose to know this type of stuff ?!?!?

This one goes out to Rod Roddy. I drink a cherry Pepsi in your honor.

Highlights of my recient travel to New Mexico:

1) After watching a very hilarious 'Scary Movie 3', I decided to ride with my sister back home in her car, rather than go home with my brother in his car. This turned out to be a wise decision. Upon getting gas for the car and traveling back to the homestead, I decided that I was hungery. As I was strapped for money, my sister offered to buy me food (I love my sister). As we were waiting in the drive thru line at Wendy's, my sister got the idea that we should order a #3 with double the meal, just to be stupid and funny. She got the idea from one of her friends. When we finally got up to the place to order, my sister placed the order and as it was being read back, the girl figured out what it was that we were wanting.

vikki: 'we want a #3 with double meat and a Dr. Pepper to drink!'
girl: ' ok, so that's a triple burger with .... what ?!? '

At this point, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath and we could barely hear the drive-thru girl. But this is not the end of it. As we drove up to the pick up window, we saw the cashier girl with a very disgruntled look on her face and one of the employees standing behind her. So as we drove up, he smiled and gave us the thumbs up, 'Alright guys, that's cool.' Needless to say, we were still laughing, even when we were trying to eat a 6 pattie burger. Good times !!

2) While looking through the books at Waldenbooks, I made a very wonderful discovery. I always look through the 'sale bin' and look for the good deals. While doing this I found what was one of the best purchases that I've ever made at a bookstore. I found 'the Vampire Book: the encyclopedia for the Undead'. Not only was it a festive buy, but it was also on sale, and with my Preferred Reader' card I got an additional 10% off. So I really paid less than the price that was on the sticker. Excellent !!

3) While driving the uhaul from Provo to New Mexico, I was in the mood for some tunes to keep me company. Unfortunately, uhaul trucks are not known for their quality stereo system. All I had to keep me awake was an Am/Fm 'older than dirt' radio. Strike two: there are very few towns between Provo and Fruitland, NM. and they are few and far between. Strike three: It was the late evening, which means I could only pick up meaningless talk show radio and high school football broadcasts. So as I travel along on my 7 hour drive, I have a fine variety of Contemporary Christian rock, Country music, po-dunk high school football, and radio evangelists. The only good thing about his whole experience, I caught up on my LeAnn Rimes singing and my Alan Jackson lyrics, which have sadly dwindled over the past few years. But someone was looking out for me because when I thought I couldn't take it anymore and was on the verge of driving into oncoming traffic, I would pick up an oldies (50's) station and that would pull me back from the brink of insanity. Lesson Learned: Always have a portable CD player with you wherever you go.

Things that must go. (Inspired by the X96 'radio from hell' morning show):

1)Tests that you study long and hard for but bomb because the teacher/review sheet/ homework didn't cover the material and it is assumed that you remember everything that has been taught you since kindergarden and there are also made up answers in which you have to choose from but don't really exist but you have to choose from them anyway just because you are under the dictatorship of the instructor and they feel that they can make up stuff just because they are the instructor and have an inner need for excercising their authority over their poor helpless students who are only trying to do their best and make the most of this college experience so that they can some day provide for their family and follow the prophet and get a house and car and a new tie but now they probably can't because of made up answers on a test that was very much prepared for but due to the lack of inattention to relevant provided answers so now all hope is lost in the universe and the Empire will take over and we will be under oppression until we can form another rebel alliance and take the one ring to its place origin and destroy it and then maybe we can have peace and love and orange-flavored chicken.

2) Run-on sentences.

3) These!

4) And referees/ game schedulers that cause the US national team to not get the World cup. I smell a conspiracy brewing.

I took another quiz. I thought this one be understood and enjoyed by all.

Which Buffy the Vampire Slayer character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla
The only difference is I'm not Gay!

Important points that must be addressed:

1) Some people have too much time on their hands and too many braincells. The Smurfs are a cartoon. They neither promote nor condemn communism or witchcraft. They are cute little blue elves that have cool adventures. They may have a communistic lifestyle and use magic, but only for the good of the community and for the simplicity of their story.

2) The US national team was robbed of The Cup. Stupid refs...they always ruin everything.

3) To the sorrow of all who were regular visitors, the Hulk finished his blog so he could pursue other life experiences. I guess even the Hulk has to grow, just like the rest of us.

4) Although a very excellent story, wonderfully put together, and extremely funny in its referrances to other films, 'Kill Bill: Vol. 1' was just too too unnecessarily violent. I love the stories that Quintin Tarantino puts together and they way his films are thought out and produced, but the 'on Screen' images that are conveyed to the viewers are rather disturbing and very graphic. I probably won't be seeing Vol. 2 just for the fact that it will be just as graphic. I would love to see how the story plays out though.

5) After viewing the trailer for Matrix: Revolutions, these theories are becoming valid. But I guess the only true test is to see the actual movie. But theories are candy for the mind.

One of the most tragic events occured over this past weekend. Something extremely bad happened and most people missed it. Something that is almost too painful to mention, but if kept inside, will only lead to more pain and anguish. The tragic event that I am talking about is the 3-0 upset of the women's US national soccer team. In a very hard fought and one of the most intense games I've seen, the US just could not pull off the victory... I mostly blame the ref. It's always the ref that causes important games to be lost. I have much evidence to back up this claim. But to the US's credit, they fought hard, took many good shots, and made many brilliant plays. Worthy of European league play even. But in the end, it just wasn't a good day for women's soccer. With this loss, the US will play for 3rd place in the World Cup. My heart aches for them. Only one other time in history did the US fail to make it to the finals. I was very much in pain that year too. But rather than focus on the negative (dumb ref !!) I would just like to give Props to the awesome ladies that make up the US national team. Even though this year sucked for women's soccer, (with the dissolving of the WUSA) there is always the hope of the next World Cup. See you in 4 years.

While trying to understand the definition of limits and work a few problems in the math lab, a kid sat down next to me and proceeded to do his homework as well. Nothing out of the ordinary, just another day in the math lab.....until this kid started talking to himself. Not once but many times, whether it was congratulating himself on solving a problem correctly or getting mad at his instructor for problems that were in the book that he did not understand. His rantings became increasingly intense over the next hour. There was only a finite amount of time in which this behavior could be borne until it was time for me to excape into my headphones. As this kid continued to do his homework, his bodily gestures became more and more erratic. I think I started to fear for my life at one point. How was this kid allowed into BYU?? rather, how was this kid allowed into society?? I thought there was a sanity standard that had to be met before entrance into college ?? I don't know, I guess it's all about being able to pay tuition anymore.

I.C.O.T.

The ICOT (or International Council of 'Them') is alive and very much well. This I learned today while in my Calculus class. Members of the ICOT are very powerful and their influence goes far beyond our awareness and even into the very details of our exsistance. The ICOT control everything from the letters that we recieve in the mail to the internet connection we use to the very blogs that we write. Allow me to illustrate:
Example A:
Have you ever been late for an important event that just happened to be either across town or even in another town and caught every red light between point A and point B ?!? or got caught in traffic that may you so rediculously late that no excuse in the world would help?!? This was the doings of the ICOT.

Example B:
Have you ever left your keys or homework or shoes somewhere in your apartment or home knowing you would return to it only to find that the thing you left suddenly disappeared and you could not find it till the next day ?!? This was the ICOT.

The ICOT has such an impact in the little details of our lives that we can't even do math without their involvment. While learning the definition of a limit I found that there is one part of limits that only the ICOT controls. This is my epsilon . This control over such an important number in limits forces me to pick a delta that is less than the Epsilon. This infuriates me!!! Why do I have to be bound by such rules ?!? Why can't I even pick my own Epsilon?!? I'm sure that's why the ICOT named this 'limits', giving them power over our very homework.

Mel Gibson in 'Conspiracy Theory' made mention of the ICOT, in his own way. He talks about 'they'. "That's what they, they start when you're young, y'know. When you're little they, at school they, they Baden-Powell all the boys and they Betty Crocker all the girls and they, then they air condition ya' and put ya' in the Heat N' Bake Oven and ya' can't breathe any more"...the ICOT.

I think I've made my point. So if ever something happens uncontrollably and unexpectedly, it might be the ICOT.

Things have been different lately. I'm not too sure what has been triggering it, but a tendency to wander has set in.. New locations, new experiences, new something. The safety nets that have been woven in the past seem to be losing their strength. Times have been and are setting to change yet again. I don't know if the events that are going to happen in the near future are for the better but it seems like something needs to change. Who knows ?!?
Change will be good. If there is one thing I have learned in all my years of roaming, it is that it all somehow works out. Just ride the ride a little bit longer. Eventually, you'll say to yourself, "That wasn't that bad....Let's go again !!!!" (Life lessons that were learned at Six Flags, who knew?)

Angels Fall First- Nightwish

An angelface smiles to me
Under a headline of tragedy
That smile used to give me warmth
Farewell - no words to say
beside the cross on your grave
and those forever burning candles

Needed elsewhere
to remind us of the shortness of our time
Tears laid for them
Tears of love, tears of fear
Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows
Oh, Lord why
the angels fall first

Not relieved by thougts of Shangri-La
Nor enlightened by lessons of Christ
I'll never understand the meaning of the right
Ignorance lead me into the light

[Repeat chorus]

Sing me a song
of your beauty
of your kingdom
Let the melodies of your harps
caress those whom we still need

Yesterday we shook hands
My friend
Today a moonbeam lightens my path
My guardian

This one goes out to Johnny Cash, and all my other homies that have passed on.

A Sign that science is taking a step in the right direction. Good work Boys !!!!

In gospel essentials today, we talked of the talents that we were given in the time before this life. I was paired with someone who has become familar a few of my habits and tendencies. While in the midst of discussing, I found that I have a talent for, and I quote, "Sinful Behavior". I found this rather interesting\intriguing\hilarious. I do have to admit a bit of irreverance is rather enjoyable, but I don't think that merits 'a talent for sinful behavior'. Maybe I was curious as a child, slightly mischievious in adolescents, and perhaps high school and college held some rambunctious days, but I think it's all good. I mean, when you think about it, if everyone followed all the rules ALL the time, then we might end up with something that resembles a world like in the movie 'Demolition Man'...boring, dry, and full of radio stations that played only vintage commercials, like the Oscar Meyer weiner song. Variety is the spice of life.

This is a Dedication to Steve "MasterYoda" Humpherys and to his travels from his 'Shire' to the land inhabited by strange folk known as San Francisco. Off to conquer the realm of Accountants and hopefully obtain many riches in his quest. Good Luck and may the Force be with you!!!!

Upon the completetion of the first week of school, things have been...well...rather strange. New semester, new bishopric, new roommates, new ward members, and now, new calling. The only familiarity I've had are my friends and my apartment. Alfredo still stops to chat with me, and that feels normal. All I can say is 'Thank Goodness for a Super Awesome Evanescence Concert !!!" That may have just saved my sanity. Also contributing to my peace of mind are my new DDR CD and my new Spiderman Disk thrower. I'm glad it's the simple things that really matter. Who says there are age limits on toys ?!?! Those things are the 'Fountain of Youth'. Too bad Ponce de Leon never had a Spiderman Disk shooter. It would have saved him a whole lot of trouble.

Watch a Tetris Freak at work !!!



Other Awards.

Test your 80's Knowledge !!!

This is my award!

This is the 'Transition' Blog. This one is dedicated to all my friends who are "in the process" of moving on in their lives...going to new places, doing new things, figuring out what they want to do with life, facing a new semester, etc. To you I would like to dedicate these lyrics that have been a great anchor to me in times of growth or change. Enjoy !!


See You On the Other Side-Ozzy Osborne

Good Riddance (Time of your life)-Green Day

Growing Up (Falling Down)-Living End

Warning-Incubus

I Miss You-Incubus



There you have it. Enjoy the selection.

Pros & Cons for Arnold becoming the next governor of California.

Pros
There is substantial evidence that Arnold will make a great governor.
1) No need for a bodyguard (Terminator)
2) He's all for the education of California's children (Kindergarden Cop)
3) He is against and will fight terrorism, alone if he has to. (True Lies)
4) He's anti-Abortion (Junior)
5) He knows how to celebrate holidays (Jingle all the Way)
6) He knows law and law enforcement (Eraser)
7) He knows how to fight aliens...most from space. (Predator).

Cons
Some things that might hinder his campane.
1) Tried to kill superheroes once. (Batman&Robin)
2) Kicked out of the FBI for police brutality. (Raw Deal)
3) Tried to build up his own kingdom through bloodshed. (Conan)

As you can see, the Pros out weigh the Cons. Too bad he was born in Austria, otherwise I'd vote for him to be President.

The Winchester House seems like a nice little place to stay. I think we should stay there when we go to San Francisco.

I think THIS was Elizabeth Swann's doing.

My friend Dustin came in from Louisiana on Saturday and last night we went out to find something to do. Usually this meant either ending the night in some type of unlawful activity and excaping the Five-O, or the both of us arguing over something completely stupid and not talking for a couple days. But in this sense, neither was the case. After paying his g'ma a visit at the hospital and enjoying some quality family time telling storys and making fun of each other, we decided to get some food. So as we cruise the streets of Farmington NM in search of something edible, we find ourselves in the mall Sport's Bar and Grill. Nothing to special happens.... until the lights are dimmed.....and an announcer steps up to the mic and announces that the Wednesday night karaoke bash has now begun. 3 oldie songs pass, all sung by the DJ and he begins his 4th. Nothing too hilarious up till this point. But at the beginning of his 4th song he announces that get is going to switch gears and try some gospel music. Oh, no! is right. He turned up the volume and bellowed out a 'Sister Act' special... Oh Happy Day. My first thought, which I promptly shared with my friend, was, "He's singing a Gospel song IN A BAR !!!" That made my day. Afterward, as we were going home, we had our own karaoke jam session with Sum 41, Onyx, and Skee Lo. Once again, we were the Kings of the Road.

Here are some significant events that have happened or are going to happen that I feel the need to address:

1) Sunday: My sister and I ventured yet again in the kitchen/food prep. realm and found that we are able to make Game Hen meals. These are the same small chickens that you eat when you go to Excaliber in Vegas and take in the King Arthur- Knight fight show (similar to Medeval Times in the movie Cable Guy). Anyway, we thought we'd experiment and try out our cooking skills and found that Game Hen is rather taste. Stuffed with rice and served with corn, it makes for a super sunday meal in front of the TV. This might develop into a ritual.

2) This morning: I almost died....twice. As I took a different route to work this morning, a beat-up white 80's modile Centennial driven by a mid-50's old guy pulled in front of me while he was trying to get onto the highway. Luckly I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox. After glareing at him as I passed, I continued on to work.
After traveling a couple more miles, another beat-up vehicle pulled in front of me while I was passing it on the second lane. This time it was a dark brown 4x4 that looked like the truck in Terminator2 after it was shot up and crashed. What is it with all the people trying to kill me today, I mean, I know I've raced a few people while I've been here but that doesn't constitute sending out the demolition derby team to target my little Jane. I think I'm done taking different routes to work, I'm sticking with the way that has been suiting me for the past few months.

3) This coming Saturday Metallica is going to be in Denver on their Summer Sanitarium Tour with Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Deftones, and Mudvayne. I WANT TO GO !!!!!!! One of the girls I work with bought tickets and is going. She and I were checking out the line up and set list online and It is going to Be an AWESOME concert. Although Metallica's new Album sux eggs, all but two songs are from the "Good" era, when Metallica was cool. Althought they have changed dramatically over the past few years, I still think they put on a super awesome concert.

4) As a comfort and just as wonderful as a Metallica concert is the fact that this weekend, my sister and I are making the Vegas/ Provoland vacation. 4 days of driving, playing DDR, trying my luck at a Blackjack table, and chillin with friends is enough to satisify anyone. I look forward to all the excitment and adventure that this road trip will offer.

There it is: the ranting and ravings of a kid that is due a much needed vacation....see ya soon.

What are Wayne & Garth's favorite pastry ???

What character does Mel Brooks play in the TV series "Mad About You" ???

Name Hayao Miyazaki's Animation Studio ???

Other than Nirvana and Foo Fighters, name another band that Dave Grohl plays for ???

What is Buffy's Gift ???

In Sixteen candles, who was in the glass coffee table after the Jake Ryan house party ???

How was it possible for two Slayers to appear at the same time i.e. Kendra and Buffy ???

THE JOHNSON'S ARE BACK ON THE HIGH-ROLLER LIST !!!! Two nights ago, we ran to the Home Depot for one of their many sales and we were very excited about our purchase. So excited, in fact, that we could hardly sleep. Last night, we got around to installing our new purchase and now...we're on everyone's A-list. We just installed a new Ceiling Fan and we couldn't be happier. Down with the old, in with the new. We took down the "Old and Busted" and put up the "New Hotness". Our old ceiling fan looks like it belongs in a Godfather's Pizza. Now we have an chrome finished, navy blue bladed low profile fan spinning it's heart out in our dining room. Afterward, we celebrated with pizza and crystal lite.

The last log-commenter died. So I'm using SqwaukBox. The new trivia Answers are posted.

Recent Movies I've seen:
1) Drumline - The band choreography was excellent and the drum line duals were awesome, but the film As a movie sucked. Not much Character development (especially with the main character) and there were too many cliche' film elements used. If you have a love for band, you might enjoy this flick. My sister liked it. She use to play the clarinet in MidSchool.

2) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days- Excellent film. I laughed most of the way through it. I thought the ending was cliche', kinda like they were trying to recreate the Wedding Planner ending. Overall, it was a great flick. I'd recommend it to anyone.

3) 8 mile - I've seen alot of "Ghetto" movies, some good, most bad. This one was trying to hard. The part of the movie that really caught my intrest were the rap battles, only because the war of words were the only unpredictable thing throughout the whole movie. I think only hard core Eminem fans would appreciate this one.

4) Big Fat Greek Wedding- "Two enthusiatic thumbs up. Fine holiday fun." Very well written, excellent characters, very good plot. Funny, Funny, Funny!!! Those crazy Greeks are always good for a laugh.

5) Tremors 3 - Also a great flick. This one was not as good as the first but very much better than the second. The life cycle of "Graboids" is explained more fully. Plus, the antics of Burt get better and better. His one liners are the best. For all you Sci-Fi fans, this is one to watch.

6) Screamers - Also a Sci-Fi flick, kind of a low budget, B movie. Not well written, but still one to watch. Semi-scary, lots of shoot-em up scenes. Really good concept for a group of killer machines that are self aware.

7) Hulk - This was a disappointment to the entire comic book industry. Not because it was a total waste of a movie, but had there been a different director, executive producer, and writers, then perhaps the movie would have made more sense. From the point of view of someone who is not so familiar with the original Hulk plot line, the beginning moved too fast, the characters were not developed as well as they could have been, and parts of the movie were unnecessarily gross. From the point of view of one that Is familiar with the Hulk from the comic books, elements were drastically exaggerated, the story did not coincide with the original comic book version, and the CGI was too heavily relied on. Also, there was too much dialog, THIS IS A HULK MOVIE!!!....we pay to see him smash everything, not see Bruce Banner cry about his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father. Boo!!!!

8) Pirates of the Caribbean - This one was on the other end of the spectrum. This one is one of the best movies of the summer. The audience can relate to this one. Wonderful storyline, excellent characters, awesome scenes and sets. The CGI enhanced the film rather than taking away from or dominating the story. The skeleton pirates are on the scary side, but worth putting up with. The boats were cool too. It is a must see for the summer.

9) Bridget Jones's Diary - Pretty funny "chick flick". I'm not so much a Hugh Grant fan, but he plays his character well, as does Colin Firth. Renee Zellweger's accent was a little on the annoying side, as some of her lines were not so understandable, but still a fine performance.

10) Undercover Brother - I've been an Eddie Griffin fan for quite some time and he doesn't dissappoint in this comedy/spoof on black stereotypes and inside jokes. I've laughed every time I've see it. This one of for the movie library. All the normal movie elements are put on the back burner to make room for the ultimate goal of making people laugh. I recommend this one for those times when you are standing in the video store and there is nothing else to rent.

Where was Martha Stewart born ??? (just the state will do)

In the Saturday Morning cartoon era, John Candy had a series. What was his cartoon called ???

Buffy's friend, Xander, and a group of the school's troublemakers were possesed by evil Hyena spirits in season 1. What did they do to the Principle of Sunnydale High ???

Which Huxtable kid got drunk while attending a friends party ???

In the movie Breakfast Club, what did Ally Sheedy's "Basketcase" character have for lunch ???

Ok, so I decided that I still don't like this place. The Farmington/Fruitland area has ABSOLUTLY NOTHING to do...well, if you drink the fire water, your car resembles something from "the Fast and the Furious", or you have a farm/ranch, THEN you have something to do. But for the rest of us, there is NOTHING!!!!! So I've gone back to my old childhood habit of summertime house cleaning and movie watching. But this past month, I've really slacked off. I've dropped all but 3 things.... my job, my church calling, and running. Other than that, I've been a bum, or as one of my friends said, a Returned Missionary Bum.

I think it's time for me to "Get Back on the Horse" and make the rest of this summer somewhat productive.

Reciently, I started to work again on the EDC website. I haven't worked on it in a long time and have already missed my "Launch Date". So I think it's high time I got this sucker completed.
Also, I started what's going to be a long time project, fixing up my dad's '83 GMC truck. This thing is a monster, a sleeping dragon, if you will. This thing has been sitting for a long time and, consequently, has obtained a rather nice collection of sand in the engine area. This thing was a beast in it's prime, now I'm just hoping to at least get it running by summer's end. I think this one will be a project covering a few summers.
And finally, there are a few books that have been left unread and a few untouched. This is a problem that must be remedied soon. Everytime I go to a book store I always get excited to read something new and different, but then I end up with unread books and unfulfilled goals. It's time to Stop the Insanity !!!!!!

With only a just over a month left till school starts, I'm not sure how I'm going to do all this. It's times like these that I curse my ADD and Performance-based Esteem. BLARG !!!!!!

Name the lead singer of Incubus ???

In the Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles, What is the name of Oroku Saki's (aka the Shredder) brother ???

In the movie Pretty in Pink, name the song and artist that Duckie lip-sync's to in the Trax music store ???

How tall is the average Smurf ???

What is Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable's favorite food ???

As I look around my surroundings and also look back in the the most recient past, I think that most people would like very much the see the Pirate comeback, and I think that this process started a long time ago. If you consider the facts and evidence at hand you will see what I am talking about.

Consider Pirate History

Then compare that with recient events.
1) Napster: Music Piracy
2) P2P (Shareware): Software Piracy
3) Seinfeld: the "Puffy Shirt"- Pirate Fashion
4) Movies that glorify the Pirate: Hook, Pirates of the Carribbean, Matrix, Cutthroat Island, Treasure Planet, Goonies, etc...
5) Internet Radio: Pirate Radio
6) Tampa Bay Bucchaneers and Pittsburgh Pirates: Sports Pirates
7) Cap'n Crunch: Cereal Pirate
8) Treasure Island: Pirate Book
9) Running Wild: Heavy Metal Pirates
10) Treasure Islands: (on Fox Box) Pirate TV for Kids
11) Bacardi: Use of a Pirate for advertising
12) the hacker Jolly Roger: Internet Pirate
13) Do-rags: Pirate headwear
14) Isaac Smith's "Smee" title: Pirate Nickname
15) Cypress Hill: self-proclaimed Pirates of Rap

The list could go on and on. So my point being, Pirates and piracy never left. Like Heavy metal, it was just laying low for a while until the right moment when it would make its big push onto the spotlight. It might be a good idea to start investing in those "Puffy Shirts". I know I'm already looking into getting my own 16th century boat with Black Flag.

NOW I believe that anything is possible. This morning while I was making my regular rounds at work, I happen to catch on T.V. an episode of the A-Team. I paused for a moment to reflect on the greatness of this rogue team of Marines crusin around in a black van offering their services to those in need. Well, in the midst of this refreshing pause I saw that as a guest appearance they had the Culture Club!!! Boy George, in all his glory, was onstage singing while the A-team was out doing what they do best. The next 5 minutes were filled with cuts between the A-team and Boy George. Bewildered, I vacated the room, left to question the creditabiliy of this once outstanding TV program. I wonder who the one was to suggest that the Culture Club appear.....was it Capt. "Howlin' Mad" Murdock?!?!.....was it Lt. Templton "Face" Peck?!?! Hmm....I'm leaning more toward latter than the former.

I saw a C-Section today...it was cool. Ever since I was a kid, I've liked watching surgeries and such. I think all my years of watching Hack & Slash movies has prepared me for a life in the Med. field.
It was cool to see how the doctor and nurses knew what to do and everyone had their job that they fulfilled with precision. No mistakes, no screw-ups. Just a routine C-Section. I hope to see more in the O.R. as well.
The other night, my sister and I were watching the Health channel and they were showing Plastic Surgeries and Liposuctions. Why does this stuff intrest?!? I don't know. Maybe I'm destined to create all the cool medical equipment that we see on Star Trek. I would make bank. AND when I name the equipment, I would give them all awesome names like "Super Sonic Neuroscanner with Non-slip grip" or the "Holographic Hydra-hema-transducer" or the "UltraSuction Lazer-guided Fluid extractor with built-in Pez dispenser". Yeah..... I think I'll start with the Pez dispenser......

So here's the deal: I've fallin in love with my roof...actually, with any roof that has a good view. This love affair began when I was a kid, when we would uncover our cooler from the winter and get the old thing going for the summer. I didn't really recognize it that much, probably because of the heat and the dryness that is typical of New Mexico. But I knew that there was something that was cool about just being up there.
Then the college years rolled around. And like every other college student in the world, I experimented. Yes, it's true. I experimented with the whole roof love affair. Last summer, I had an opportunity to go out to Sac-town and install satellite dishes. Although the days were long and hot and the work was pretty intense, the only part of the day that I really looked forward to were my evening installs. This is the time of day when the sun would go down, the evening breeze would begin, and some stars could be seen. During the install, I would take a few minutes to sit on the rock tiled roof and enjoy the sun setting over the sea of houses, trees, and hills that are typical of central Cali. I was super glad to be back from Cali. but I still miss the roofs.
Now-a-days, I enjoy the roof of my house, overlooking the valley, plateaus, and mountains. Talk about heaven on earth. Reciently, I've found that reading is more enjoyable while sitting on a roof. Along with this, sitting at midnight on my roof is also pleasant. I wonder what else is enjoyable to do while up there....
When it is time to get my own house later on in life, I think I'm going to have to have either a soccer field, a pool, or a ski resort on my roof. Bert (Dick Van Dyke) got it right in Mary Poppins, "There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it, but the birds, the stars and the chimney sweeps?"...and satellite installers.

Wow, It's been quite a day. It's not over either. I've been sexually harrassed by a coworker (it was funny though), I stood between a convict and a security officer on the elevators, and some other strange events that probably should not be mentioned on a blogger website. Talk about crazy things happening when you least expect it. I think it's safe to say that this has got to be one of the weirdest places to live...I don't know how I made through adolesence and high school. Is it wrong to not have any desire at all to return to the place of your nativity ever again ???? I think I will have to appeal to Daria again and ask the question..."Is it Fall yet??"

In the spirit of putting up song lyrics... here's my contribution:
Warning - (4:40)
Bat your eyes girl
be otherworldly
count your blessings
seduce a stranger
what's so wrong with
being happy?
kudos to those who
see through sickness, yeah

Over and over and
over and over and oooh

When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by
and she called out a warning
don't ever let life pass you by

I suggest we
learn to love ourselves
before it's made illegal
when will we learn (when will we learn)
when will we change (when will we change)
just in time to see it all come down

Those left standing will make millions
writing books on ways it should have been

When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by
and she called out a warning (warning)
don't ever let life pass you by

Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi
we are like frogs oblivious
to the water starting to boil
no one flinches, we all float face down

When she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by
and she called out a warning (warning)
don't ever let life pass you by
pass you by, oooooh
oooooh, oooooh, oooooh

Anywho....

I FOUND HER !!!!! After all my years of searching and keeping my eyes open...I finally found her. She looks exactly how I imagined she would look. I think I have dreamed of this for the longest time. She works at San Juan Regional Medical Center, the night shift. I just happened to run into her while casually ordering a grilled cheese at 11pm. Who ??you might ask...Adam Sandler's very ellusive lunchlady. The one that he sings about in the very famous "Lunchlady Land". I finally found her. She is alive and still grilling up some of the gourmet dishes that we have all come to know and love. I even know her name...it's Marge. What a treat!!! I can die happy now knowing that I have found one of the world's most mysterious celebrities. Who would have thought that the LunchLady would land a job in my home town. I wonder if she will sign my tape of "Their All Going to Laugh at You". That would sell on eBay for Millions!!!!!!!!!!!!

My relatives stole my shampoo !!!!...and they left me with half a bottle of their crappy shampoo. Grrr !!!!!! On top of everything else that they've taken from us, they couldn't resist my shampoo. I'm mean, I figure that when they started taking our tools and silverware and dishes and stuff like that, I figured it was all just a mistake. But now they've gone too far, they crossed the line, the "DMZ" if you will. They took my hair care products and I know they've been using my toothpaste too. What is the world coming to when you can't even let your relatives use your shower. Let's face it, when ,in good faith, you let your aunt and uncle and their family use your shower (because they don't have running water yet), you would at the very least expect them to not take your shampoo. Is that so much to ask ??? I know the economy is still recovering from a recession and unemployment has reciently hit an all time high, but that is no reason to start taking hair care products. The Dow is above 9000 points, for crying out loud !!! What does a kid have to do now a days in order to ensure the safety of his own personal bottle of Finesse. Do I need to build yet another fence around that too ??? There are too many fences as it is !!!!! GRRRRR!!!!! I realize all I want in life is to have a nice shower with warm water and my own bottle of shampoo, unstolen and undefiled. Everything else may go to hell in a hand basket, but when it comes right down to it, a stress free shower is really all the matters...well, that and an uninterrupted viewing of your favorite TV show.

Hello again and welcome to another weekend wrap up in the exciting life of the Johnson's. This weeks mischief come from both Farmington and Alburqurque. Here are some of the better things that have happened or that I have seen:

1) While walking out to my car from the hospital, I hear the sound of police sirens in the distance. This is nothing too unusual, so I continued on my way to my car, thinking of what I'm going to do when I get home. Well, the sirens get louder and louder until I look behind me and notice a Red, 5.0 Liter, late 80's model Ford Mustang screeming down the street. Behind him are two cops on motorcycles (I immediately thought of the TV show CHiPs), chasing after the Mustang. It was a high speed chase...through a hospital zone!!! I had mixed feelings...on the one hand, I was cheering the guy on for having the guts to try to out run the cops in a Mustang. Kinda like Nicholas Cage did on Gone in 60 Seconds. But on the other hand, I was concerned for all the people who could potentially get hurt because this guy decided to try to out run the cops, because he was either in a stolen car or drunk or had a record. Either way it could turn out badly for someone. But that was the first High Speed Chase that I've seen in my sleepy little town of Farmington.

2) While my sister and I were in Linen & Things in Alburqurque, checking out the selection of curtins and stuff that we could get for our house, we wandered into the small appliences area. As we were checking out the toasters and blenders and stuff, I noticed the Oven mitts. There were two different styles of mitts: the traditional "Hamberger Helper" mitten and on that is just an oval shaped mitt that you can put your hand into. Almost immediately I thought of a hockey goaltender and they gloves that he wears (I thought this because we are into the Stanley Cup Finals). So as I was trying on both types mitts I made my thoughts known to my little sister. She followed suite. As we stood across the aisle from each other, we both got into out Goalkeeping positions (because we both played GK in High School). As we were joking around, a sales rep with a customer happened to pass by and the customer saw my sister. He burst out in a semi-loud laugh, knowing what we were doing. Then in kind of a loud voice let us know that there were fake apples on the other side of the store that we could play with. I mentioned that we needed "hockey" stick in order for us to do that, whereupon my sister said that all we needed were brooms and we would be set. All of this made the three laugh even more. I love playing in retail stores, some of the time the employees play with you. It's great.

Those were the best things to happen this past week. It's always an adventure when I step out side my door. Something cool always happens. As one wise man put it: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, stepping out your door..."

I was watching reruns on TV last night and decided that one of the best TV series to come from MTV was Daria. Bevis and Butthead were funny but really the best thing to come from that series was Daria. That whole show is based on sarcasm and making fun of the things in this world that need to be made fun of, simply because people are and act foolishly and they need to be made aware of it. I'm not saying that everything I do makes a whole lot of sense or that the way I do things is the end-all-be-all way that things should done. I'm mearly pointing out that MTV's Daria needs to come back and continue the unique and beloved social commentary that has defined it as one of my Top 10 all time favorite shows. Plus, the animation's not bad either.

I got to talking to my sister a while a go and we have decided that there are four degrees of Homelessness. As you may have assumed, we have drawn upon our combined experience as homeless people and have discovered that we have about a months worth of "being" homeless, so we figure that this qualifies us to establish the following:

THE FOUR DEGRESS OF HOMELESSNESS:

1st Degress Homelessness: This is what I was for a whole week. This degress of homeless people have "stuff" and a "place" to go, but still do not have a home or actual established place of residence. These people have material possessions (such as clothes, vehicle(s), books, etc), an established place to put said "stuff" and possibly have a bed to sleep in. But they DO NOT have the ability to call where they are staying "HOME" per se. It's just a temporary domicial. Also included in this, the person might possibly have a job or some type of income other than welfare or some other type of Goverment assisted program. You get the picture.

2nd Degree Homelessness: This type of person is a step down from the one listed above. Except for this person doesn't have the "place" to go. For example, my sister has "stuff" and people that she knows. But she didn't have a "place" to go or an established place to sleep. So she just stuffed all her "stuff" in her car and was couch-hopping. One night she would sleep at a friends house, the next night at another friends house, the next a family members house, etc. She was homeless w/ "stuff" but no place to stay. She just relyed on the mercy of her friends and family. There are others that follow this same pattern. They are the couch-crashers that we sometimes get to know and sometimes hate.

3rd Degree of Homelessness: This brand of homeless person is sort of a reversal of the 2nd Degree person. This person may have places to go and people to see. But they are without "stuff". Maybe a few things but nothing of real value to the outside world. The Apostles of OT times are a good example. "Traveling without purse or script"...but they had stuff to do and they relyed on the mercy of the people that they were among. There are people like this today. Those that hitchhike cross country are a sort of this. Nothing really of value to do they have, a few items, but no place to call their own. Then there are the traditional homeless people that were are familiar with, but with an advantage...they know how to work the system. I've met a few of these in Iowa. They go from shelter to shelter, they know when the different lunchtimes are, and they are "well established" in this system (i.e. they know who people are at the shelters). They are the "regulars" at these shelters.

4th Degree: This class of homeless people are the sterotypical, box-living, ragged-clothed individuals that we see in movies and on tv. These people have no "stuff" and no established place of residence, you know what I mean. These are the the "bums", the "bag-ladies", and "vagabond" that wander the streets looking in trash bins for their next meal and for stuff to wear. Some even have signs that say such things as "Will work for food". I have much sympathy for these individuals.

There is the "Johnson's list of the 4 degress of Homelessness". If you can think of anyone I left out, please let me know, a Revision might be in order. But this is what my sister and I came up with while driving. One of those things you talk about when on a long drive. Holla back.

Here are some more wacky stuff that has occured reciently.

Last night my sister and I went to go see the new Matrix movie. One of the guys that we lived with for a while, whom I consider a step-brother, invited us to go with him. He told us it was the midnight showing. Well, the geniuses that my sister and I are, thought that he meant that it ENDED at midnight and so we got there at 9:10pm. Well, 9:10 rolled around and no show. So we called his house and asked his wife where he was. Apparently there was an unlisted Midnight show that he got tickets for, so my sister and I had some time to kill. It was during this time that several events occured:

1) My sister use to work at Taco Bell and so she knows people there. Which means that we can get free stuff (i.e. food, drinks, toys, etc). We got free food and drink, which is always a plus. After which, my sister and I went to the most local ATM. We had time to waste so we walked, it was a ways off but not very far away. Well, there was a line of cars at the ATM, it was about 10pm, so we were kickin' it on a curb, waiting for the lot of them to leave. As we were chillin on a curb, I felt something on my jacket, kinda like a bird fluttering, right under my arm. I look down and the friggin night sprinklers came on. My jacket and pants got soaked. Grrrr. There was a car directly in front of us so they cause a glimps of the whole thing. I'm sure they were laughing at me all night after that.

2) After we got done at the ATM, my sis. and I started back to the mall theater. We were walking along the curb that outlines the parking lot. When I was a kid, we played a game were you walk along the curb and pretend that you above an alligator filled lake. If you fell off the curb, then the alligators got you. Well, my sister and I were doing the same thing. We walked along the curb pretending that we were trying to avoid the alligators. As were were walking a car drove by and the passenger, some wanttabe thug, yelled out the window, "Don't fall !!!" and "What are you guys doing, practicing for the Sobriety Test??!!!" Not only did this give my sister and I got chuckle, but to make out avoidance of the alligators more challenging, we did start practicing for the Sobriety test. My sister, while walking, started touching her nose with each index finger while walking the curb. My job was to avoid the alligators and recite the ABC's backward. If you ever find yourself with time to kill at the mall, I suggest walking on the curb and practicing the Sobriety test. It's always good to stay in practice.

Well, there you have it. Chillin with the sister again on a Friday night, in the parking lot of the local mall after hours, waiting for a midnight movie. There's not much to do here anyway, but if you try hard enough, you'll find something to do...and if not, something usually happens to you when you least expect it. Either way, it's all good.

In the Spirit of ESPN's Chris Berman 10 Plays of the Day or Dave Letterman's Top Ten list (whichever you are most familiar with) I would like to give you Jay's Top Five Most Outstanding Events Since Moving Home. Some of the stories are funny, some are weird, some are just cool:

5: My sister and I were cruising Downtown Alburqurque. We had just finished eating at the NYPD (New York Pizza Dept.) and were going to the mall. While sitting at a stop sign and jamming out to one of the local Hip-Hop stations, I happened to notice an old, grungy looking fellow talking to himself. I guess our radio was quite loud because he was dancing while we was walking past us. I turned off the music to see if I could hear what he was saying. When I did this, he almost immediately turned toward us and then started laughing. My sis. and I looked at each other and started laughing. My sister's only comment was," What a weirdo."

4: My sister and I went to the local singles ward on sunday. It was only good for a few laughs. We walked in during the first song and were waiting for the sacrament. While singing the sacrament song we just so happen to notice that the piano player was playing the song slower than normal. When my sister and I noticed this, we looked at each other and started to chuckle. Not only was the song slow but we were able to have a whole conversation during the last half of the last verse. I think that there were others who fell asleep during the song too. It was probably a good thing that we were laughing because at the pace the song was going, we would both have been passed out and the sacrament passers would have had to kick us to wake us up. Needless to say, I'm going to be going to the home ward from now on.

3: One night while I was in my room reading a book, winding down from a day of cleaning, my sister knocks on my door and says that there is a lady at the door. I got up and went to check it out. There was lady, I would say in her late 40's, who was standing at our door. She said that she needed a ride home. Apparently, she and her boyfriend got in a arguement and he was probably drinking. She got out of the car and starting running. She ended up at our house and was looking for a ride home. It was around or a little after 11PM. I had to give her props for making it to our door, because 1) we had all our outside lights off, so it was hard to see 2) we had 4 dogs running around our house who love to bark at everything (we only have one now) and 3) We live out in BFE and it's a little bit away from the road, so it takes a little bit of effort to get to our house. Needless to say, my sis. and I drove her home. That's only the second time that has happened to me. The first time was when my Bro. and I had to drive a drunk guy to the church that is down the road from our house when I was younger. But that's another story.

2: Along the same lines as the last story, there was a red Toyota, just like my truck, that was sitting on the road that leads to our house. There were two guys out there. My aunt, who lives right next to us, sent her daughter over to tell me to go check it out. I went and found two old guys there. The car was stuck in the sand that is along the side of the road. The driver was standing next to the car. When I drove up I asked what the problem was. He said that the car wouldn't start. He and the other guy wanted a ride to a town that was 7 miles away. I asked if his truck was broken and if i could fix it for him so that he could be on his way. He said his car wouldn't start. I got the key and, what do ya know, the car started the first try. He said that they wanted a ride anyway, they were stuck. So I went to my cousins house and he and I went back to pull his car out of the sand. We did but they still wanted a ride to the next town. But as we were pulling the car out, some other kids in a truck came by and agreed to take the two old guys to the next town. We left the truck at the next intersection and said that they could pick it up there when they got back. I figure that they were either drunk or taking some funky meds. Either way, they were weird and kinda creepy.

1: My sister and I were up at 11 PM on another evening finishing a day of cleaning the house. We were winding down to a game of DDR. We had just razor bladed the kitchen stove. By this I mean that we took the stove apart and cleaned all the grime and junk with razor blades. Well, after a few hours of that, we were done for the day. I'm not very good at DDR but my sister is a genius. We were both tired but I managed to pull myslef together long enough to pull off a 98 combo before the game was over. It was my first time getting a such a high score...ok, ok, It was on Basic mode but still I got the 98 Combo and that is what matters. I was proud of myself. I went to bed happy and seeing DDR arrows.

Well, there you have it. The top 5 most outstanding events that have happened since I've come home. The summer is still young so there is bound to be more wacky stuff that happens.

This past week has been crazy to say the least. Running here and there, still moving stuff around, cleaning house. It's been good though. This morning I interviewed with the San Juan Regional Medical Center for an Equipment Tech position. The lady said she was impressed and I hope to get a call sometime monday or tuesday. The thing that caught her eye with my application was that I put Missionary- 2 years church service on the form. Turns out that her son served in Iowa also. We talked about that for a bit. That's the first time that's happened to me, getting a favorable job interview based on missionary service (or something like that). Well, I have to go put in a new kitchen faucet and clean somemore. Hope to get some stuff done today.
This whole home improvement stuff is taxing on the energy reserves, I don't know how Tim Allen can handle it. Maybe I should have him come out for a few days and give me some pointers. We'll grunt and talk tools and fixtures all day. The typical male dream, i guess. I hope he likes pizza, cause that's what we are going to have. And then later on, while eating pizza, we'll watch Ninja Turtles. It will be great. My sister can play DDR with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. It will be great.

I've done it now...I've given into the pressures of the Blog. After a little bit of thought and a little bit of "Peer Pressure", I've decided to try out this whole Blogging trend. Since this is the first of hopefully many blogs, I think I will start off by saying this thing is so..it's kinda like..YO!!! Anywho, Holla back so I can see if this thing is working.