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Rime of the Odyssey

The Longest Road Trip Of My Life

Scene 1: Facebook IM

9:23pmJay
you should go see Slumdog

9:23pmMarc
come tend anna

9:24pmJay
i'm actually gonna fly to Utah on the 8th
but i'm gonna drive back to Arizona that same day

9:24pmMarc
eff you

9:25pmJay
i thought i should tell you now so you can get over it before 2010

9:26pmMarc
retard

9:27pmJay
i'm driving back with my roommate
he's moving down and i'm gonna drive down with him
cause i need a road trip

9:27pmMarc
you hate road trips

9:28pmJay
i hate road trips when i have to go through Zions National Park
did i ever tell you about the Longest Road Trip of My Life ?

9:30pmMarc
i don't care

9:31pmJay
well, it all began as an innocent road trip between 3 friends and a goal to see the Red Sox play in Arizona
now, the trip started with a certain baby crying everytime she saw me
i will call this baby, naan
as we were headed to somewhere-ville utah
i had to sit forward because naan would cry everytime she saw me
there was nothing i could do
i just had to sit forward, out of sight of naan
it was ok, i didn't mind
i just got back spasms and a dislocated shoulder because of it
after we dropped off naan and her mom, lets call her mardell
(names have been changed to protect the innocent)

9:35pmMarc
im not listening
or reading

9:35pmJay
well, mardell was married to a jerk of a friend named Marc Buchanan (notice the name was NOT changed)
to continue...
we dropped of mother and child
and we continued on our journey
well, MARC BUCHANAN thought he was soooo fancy-schmancy that he wanted to follow his installed GPS
he would not take directions from anyone
he would only listen to GPS
if GPS told him to drive thorough Canada before going to Arizona
he would have

9:38pmMarc
well, in his defense, the gps is a hell of a lot better then indian smoke signals, which is what the brown guy in back suggested

9:38pmJay
well, as we journeyed along, GPS told MARC FRIGGIN' BUCHANAN to turn north and drive through Zions National Park
and, as MARC 'I WANNA SHOW OFF MY NEW FANCY GPS' BUCHANAN, turned north to drive toward Zions, the 2 other passengers tried ever so tenderly to suggest that there is another way
the co-pilot, Pyler, even suggested we not drive through Zions
but there was no stopping MARC 'I'M NOT GONNA LISTEN TO ANYONE BUT GPS' BUCHANAN
and we proceeded to not only drive through Zions National Park, but we even paid for the privilage of adding another hour and another 500 miles to our already Donner Party-esque journey
after 1000 switchbacks, a caravan of 4000 cars ahead of us, and 10000000 caves to go through
we finally braved Zions National Park
and we continued on our way to Arizona to see if would could catch at least the last inning of already mentioned Red Sox baseball game
but lady luck smiled upon the 2 forsaken passengers
and, disspite MARC 'I'M GONNA DO WHAT I WANNA DO' BUCHANAN heckling and dictator-like driving
we were able to catch more than half of the game
Providence was with us
as the game finished, we took our journey northward
back to utah
but THAT journey was not without setbacks
it seemed Providence went to the bathroom as the 2 weary passengers and MARC 'I'M GONNA PEE EVERY 5 MILES' BUCHANAN trekked back to utah
it seemed that there was something in the drink that MARC 'I'M THE COOLEST SO EVERYONE BETTER LISTEN TO ME' BUCHANAN had that caused him to have to stop every 5 miles to go to the bathroom

9:49pmMarc
no one is listening

9:50pmJay
it was like clockwork
5 miles...pee
another 5 miles...pee
Pyler and I patiently waited with every stop
they saw that they had to apply what they learned at the feet of Fishop Breestone
-patience
-charity
-long suffering
had they not learned these qualities at Fishop Breestone's lessons, they never would have made it back to utah
it was uncanny how much this journey mirrored Odyssus's journey back from Troy to his home in Ithica
but, alas, the journey was made
Pyler and I and even MARC 'I'M NOT LISTENING TO THIS ULTRA COOL STORY BECAUSE IT'S ALL TRUE' BUCHANAN made it back safely and soundly to utah to continue their lives
stronger
wiser
for having made their journey
the end...?

Tagged

(at least one version of being tagged)

8 Shows I watch:
1) Attack of the Show
2) Simpsons
3) Family Guy
4) Futurama
5) South Park
6) Heroes
7) Girls Next Door
8) Star Trek: TNG

8 things I did yesterday:
1) Bought 7 movies
2) Watched V:the mini series
3) Watched Stand By Me
4) Helped purchase chicken
5) Had Tithing settlement
6) Slept
7) Got M&Ms thrown at me whilst I slept
8) Made $24,000,000

8 places I like to eat:
1) In-n-Out Burger
2) RA
3) Outback
4) Steph & Lisa's
5) Del Taco
6) Harkins Theaters
7) Heart Attack Grill (pending)
8) Alice Cooper's Town (pending)

8 things I am looking forward to:
1) Make level 50 on myspace Mafia Wars
2) Moving in with Derek
3) Getting an iTouch/PSP
4) Turning 29...again
5) Getting my laundry done
6) Sleep
7) Eating at Alice Cooper's Town
8) Eating at Heart Attack Grill

8 things on my wish list:
1) a new car (sorry Jane)
2) a MacBook Pro (thank goodness for my employee discount)
3) an iTouch or PSP
4) Billy Mays off tv FOREVER
5) also that dumb Glade commercial mom off tv too (OMG, they SUCK !!!!)
6) my ACL back
7) a Blu-Ray player
8) find my heiress wife

8 people I tag: (do i even know 8 people???)
1) Marc
2) eSpencer
3) Janna
4) Micaela Ray
5) Lisa
6) Crystal
7) President-elect Obama
8) Bender Bending Rodríguez

Be of Good Cheer

Befriend a Geek from White October on Vimeo.

Tis the season

You heard it here 2nd

Well, the time has come for viruses to hit the Apple Environment. Just today in iMac training we were using a small program to crash our computers and try to figure out how to fix it. But on the wider scale, Apple has released a support page encouraging the use of Anti-Virus software (multiple softwares even) to protect against the growing threat of Malware.

Mac OS: Antivirus Utilities support page.

Funny thing is, we in the tech industry knew this day would come for a while. Just yesterday, someone in class remarked how easy it would be to crash an entire Mac system with a simple bash script, since we all know the Mac OS is built on the Unix OS.

This brings up 2 interesting points:
1) Regardless of how you feel about the whole Mac vs. PC contention, PCs have had years of experience of dealing with Malware and the current defenses have been tuned to adjust to the growing number of Malware in existence and under development/soon to be developed. You might say that the Mac world might almost have to thank PCs for developing such sophisticated softwares to fight against Malware, and changing a bit of coding in order to allow Macs to join the show already in progress.

2) Must see TV

So, if you own a Mac you might want to start investing the money you DIDN'T spend on Norton in years past into getting some Norton to protect your CPU. (Notice I said Norton, NOT McAFEE!!!)

And to answer your question, Yes, that actually IS what I do for Apple (for those that watched the entire episode).